You Might Be a Homeschooler If…
…you catch yourself singing, “Amo, amas, amat, amamus, amati, amant!” in the shower to the tune of the Mexican Hat Dance.
…your kids are in school when it is snowing or insanely hot out, and school is called due to weather when it is exceptionally pleasant.
...your child has used a knife or shot a gun at school.
…your kids have no idea what grade they’re in.
…lab day is a day when you invite your friends over to dissect brains.
…you love taking those middle of the day appointments with your kids, as there is no waiting room wait and they aren’t missing school.
…your kids eat home-cooked meals for lunch some days, and make their own lunches (at lunch time) fresh for themselves on other days.
…your car breaks down, and you see it as a learning opportunity.
…your kid is lost in a subject, and the teacher says, “That’s okay. We’ll back up and do it again until you understand it, before we have to move on.”
…you routinely get to the end of the textbook where the really interesting stuff is hidden.
…you have 50 answers to the question, “So how will they ever be socialized???” and only 2 or 3 of them are socially acceptable.
…during reading time, your kids are moving about the room acting out the book as you read.
…your kids have perfect attendance, because if they’re sick you simply don’t have school that day.
…you can take your child on vacation any time of year, without either lying on an excuse note or pressuring the school to not prosecute you for truancy.
…you can take your kids with you when one parent travels for work, because school on wheels is a thing.
…school happens at midnight because there is a cool comet on the way. And the kids can sleep in a little the next morning and still make it to school on time.
…the math room is on the living room floor, the history room is on the sofa, the reading room is in a comfy chair, with cat assistance, and the science room is in the dining room or the basement.
…you send your kid to the store with money and a list, and think the parents who sit with their kids in cars at the bus stop are negligent (read with common sense. Assumes said stop is not in a crime-infested area).
…pajama day happens more than once per year.
…you see the educational value in some time on Minecraft.
…your elementary kids watch “Ice Age 2” and point out all the references to the Iliad and the Odyssey.
…you have marched across the living room in “turtle formation,” holding your scutum over your kids’ heads. Then you have marched back the other way in locked phalanx formation.
…you have ever mummified a chicken.
…you geek out over researching new lesson plans.
…you hold parent/teacher conferences with yourself continually.
…you go shopping or to the doctor, and it ends up being a guided tour.
…Longwood Gardens (or whatever your local arboretum may be) is one of your classrooms, sometimes for botany, sometimes for poetry, sometimes for math, and sometimes for art or gym.
…your kids get recess multiple times a day.
…school start and end times, and school year start and end times are a bit fluid.
…you are a little nervous about having to be the college guidance counsellor during high school.
…you read endless debates about whether high school level work completed before the final four years of school should count on a transcript.
…you are not completely certain when your child’s graduation date will be, because you are never really sure what grade they’re in. You have a plan, but plans change.
…if your kids have gone a whole week without complaining about homework.
…your kids have been asked if they have any friends.
…your kids never have to worry about who to sit with at lunch.
…you’ve been asked if you believe in evolution, and you know more about it than the question asker.
…you’ve ever gotten a sunburn while diagramming sentences.
…the cat helps with geometry.
…if reading and writing in Greek is not all Greek to you.
Thanks for reading!